I can’t, I will never be able to, I’m no good are the words every parent dreads to hear from their child.


Because to them it is a worrying sign that their child is missing a very important quality, a quality that can lead to achievement, success and survival of the challenges and pressures one may face in today’s world.

We all recognise this quality as “confidence”. Everyone knows what it feels like to have highs and lows in their levels of confidence but what exactly is confidence? And how can you help your child to build it?

iSpace Wellbeing founder, Paula Talman shares her expert tips on helping your child build their confidence.

What is ‘Confidence’?

Confidence can be influenced by our DNA, our social interactions with the world around us and the choices and decisions we make.

It has been said that we are 10% what happens to us and 90% what we choose to happen to us. Confidence is quite simply the belief we have in our own ability combined with self-esteem which is how we feel about ourselves in general. Hence it is normal to feel changes in the level of our confidence as we face new things and greater challenges.

Tips for building Confidence

Building confidence is important and achievable. Parents and teachers can help by encouraging children to have a growth-mindset. Instilling positive thinking and the belief that they can.

Failure should not be feared instead it should be practice so that children can learn and move forward. Confidence can grow where failure is not feared.

Self-compassion is also an important part of developing confidence in children and young people. It has been reported that we have 5 negative for every positive thought and that we have around 70,000 thoughts a day. Teaching children to talk to themselves as a friend would or to talk to themselves with kindness will help them overcome and challenge their negative thinking.

Music is also known to boost confidence. Playing music with a strong base beat and learning to visualise yourself achieving your goals can instil a strong believe in one’s ability and the desire to try.

Teachers can promote, teach and guide children towards building a confident attitude.


At Cumnor House school, one of the iSpace Wellbeing pioneering schools, children are also taught the concept of confidence through iSpace Wellbeing, the mental health and wellbeing curriculum.

Having a wellbeing curriculum ensures the school focuses on the development of children’s mental, physical and social health giving children the means to learn about themselves as well as subjects.

Children learn about confidence, self-esteem and resilience through situational examples, theory, and active learning.

Through this learning children build their own emotional toolkit to help them face future challenges and failure.

Resourceful children are confident children who believe in their ability to try, who see failure as an opportunity to learn and who are kind to themselves as they practice new things.

iSpace Wellbeing is the mental health and wellbeing curriculum for schools and children 4-13+. Our curriculums are evidence based, progressive, and offer whole school approach to mental health and wellbeing.

To see if iSpace Wellbeing is right for your school, visit here to learn more.

Leave a Reply